Unless you live in some sort of isolation chamber, you’ve heard the big news of the day: after two years of dating, Taylor Swift and Travis Kelce are engaged. The couple announced their engagement via a joint post on Instagram, a little under two weeks after she appeared on his podcast, New Heights, to announce her forthcoming album Life of a Showgirl.
The news made its way around the internet swiftly (ha).
The engagement immediately drew comparisons to a royal engagement, with Swifties (well, most Swifties – we’ll come back to this) celebrating her fairy tale ending.
But about that caption.
Your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married 🧨
As our Chief Millennial Defender, I have to accept that millennial cringe comes with the territory but “your English teacher and your gym teacher are getting married” is reaching, if you will, new heights.
Not to mention the @killatrav of it all.
Swifties are without a doubt, the most deranged fanbase on the internet, a moniker I bestow upon them with love and fear in my heart.
But there’s one particular subsect of Swiftie that stands above the rest when it comes to departure from reality: the Gaylors, or those who believe Taylor Swift is secretly queer.
Swifties are also notorious their prevalence amongst political staffers.
Fortunately – and write a letter to the editor with what I missed – virtually all officials got the memo, with only the rare post, like this one from Rep. Teresa Leger Fernández
Republican podcasters were of course having a normal one.
President Trump, on the other hand, was downright congratulatory. This is a 180 from the man who posted “this “I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT!” almost a year ago today.
Anyhow, jokes aside, TOTI extends its congratulations to Taylor and Travis for, as we millennials say, doing a thing.
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