Continued from Part 1.
It’s a longstanding trope that there’s an alternate universe in which Donald Trump parlayed his fame from The Apprentice into a daytime talk show gig, a world in which he attains some semblance of happiness and isn’t a decade-long threat to U.S. democracy. This weekend, that multiverse became richer in detail when right-wing commentator Ben Shapiro posted a 23-minute-long review of the Wicked movie.
One political figure who did get to live out her musical theater dreams was Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson, who made a cameo in Broadway’s &Juliet. What the hell, sure.
Let’s briefly check in with our broken cultural attitudes towards young women. Last week, paparazzi published photos of actress Sydney Sweeney looking a normal level of unattainably hot as opposed to airbrushed levels of unattainably hot. So, naturally, men across the internet felt the need to call out this crime against humanity.
Sydney Sweeney’s response:
To close on a more fun note, I have to acknowledge the pop culture contributions of Timothée Chalamet’s press tour for the upcoming Bob Dylan biopic A Complete Unknown. If the universe requires a high-profile musical press tour to placate the masses at all times, I won’t complain.
On December 7, Timothée appeared on ESPN’s College GameDay and shocked everybody* with his in-depth knowledge of college football.
*not everybody: real ones know that young Timmy has been a sportshead since he was a kid.
On Friday, Timothet saw Margot Robbie’s Barbie-themed red carpet outfits and Zenday’s Challengers-inspired “tenniscore” and raised them whatever you call this:
Finally, this morning, he went where Kamala Harris did not: the manosphere.
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